It was a hard morning. Not because Ae had thrown a fit, but because I was exhausted. That word has been a pretty common description of the days and weeks since discovering the next blessing is on the way. I sleep as much as I can, but small things like preparing breakfast can leave me breathless and drained. I don’t remember this in the previous pregnancy at all…
When I heard the faint [sounds] of the 21 month old in the other room, I reluctantly got up. I did the minimal of what needed to be done. We went and got “wa-wauce and Oats!” When we were done, I encouraged Ae to play on his own… blocks or whatever… while I slumped into the chair in the corner.
I watched him play for a few minutes, all the while thinking that I should be interacting with him. I know my one-on-one time with him is short, and I want to soak it up as much as I can. So why was I struggling with this so much?
My thoughts drifted to Martha. I’m reading Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World right now, and I recalled how upset Martha was that Mary was choosing to sit at Jesus’ feet when there was work to be done, people to be served. As I pondered this, a Still Small Voice reminded me,
When you serve others, you serve Me.
Simple, yet profound.
“…for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in;I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me”…”Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.” (Matt. 25:35-36, 40b)
Was I looking at my son and seeing a human who desperately wants my attention, or was I seeing an opportunity to serve my Savior? Was it drudgery… reading the same book, putting together the same puzzle, reading the same book (again)? Or was I choosing to push a bit beyond myself and read that same book with joy — despite my weary body?
Ae loves to read books, and there are few tasks that entertain a toddler that require less energy output than reading books. I will be the first to admit that this is not going to win the “most sacrifice of the year” award. But I’m finding that obedience doesn’t usually work that way. It’s a million little opportunities to say yes when I would rather say no. To sit and read with him when I would rather get “something” done. To put that puzzle together for the zillionth time when I would rather check Facebook.
In many cases, obedience requires sacrifice. How are you choosing to obey today?